Special Assignment Page 12

  “You don’t understand.”

  She remembered his words in his kitchen, before the gunfire had interrupted. There was more. More he hadn’t wanted to tell her. “Then make me understand.”

  Elbows on knees, he cradled his head in his hands, his pain so sharp the air around him seemed to throb with it. “I had a brother.”

  Something shifted deep in Cassie’s chest. She knew he had a brother. He’d mentioned Tommy before. His brother who’d been deaf since birth. That was why both he and his father were fluent in American Sign Language. And perhaps why Mike had never treated her deafness as a disability. But this time he’d said he had a brother. Past tense. As if he didn’t have a brother anymore. She scooped in a breath. “What happened to your brother? Did he die?”

  “I don’t know.”

  She frowned. Had she read his lips right? “You don’t know? What do you mean?”

  “Tommy was younger than me, about seven years younger. Both my parents worked a lot and didn’t have a lot of time to take us places. So whenever I went to a movie or anything, I’d have to bring Tommy along.” He shook his head, the muscle in his jaw flexing. “I used to hate it when he tagged around with me.”

  “A lot of older siblings feel that way.”

  “You have brothers or sisters?”

  She nodded. “Older brother. And I guarantee my brother thought I was a pest. For good reason, too. It’s natural.”

  “Maybe. If resentment was as far as it went.”

  She swallowed, her throat growing tight. She couldn’t imagine Mike doing anything to hurt anyone. He was a protector. She’d seen that firsthand. It was part of his nature as much as being a cop. A part that drove her crazy at times, but a good part all the same. “What happened?”

  “I was seventeen and had a hot date.” His lips twisted in a bitter smile. “Lisa Martinez. We went to a movie. I don’t even remember what we saw.”

  She waited for him to go on, but his lips didn’t move. He stared at the floor in front of him, as if sucked back to that day all those years ago. “And Tommy?” she prompted gently.

  “Tommy had to go along. I didn’t want to take him. I wanted to be alone with Lisa. All I thought about was being alone with Lisa.”

  “You sound like you were a typical teenage boy.”

  He shook off her words. “I gave him some money and told him to wait in the arcade until the movie was over. I left my deaf, ten-year-old brother all alone. No one to go to for help. Hell, people didn’t even know sign language back then. Even if he’d tried to ask for help, no one would’ve understood him.”

  An empty feeling hollowed out in the middle of Cassie’s chest. She knew what it would have been like for that little boy. People looking at him as if he was a freak. Or worse, turning their heads away, afraid to notice he was different, ashamed of their repulsion. Only she’d been nineteen when she’d lost her hearing. And she could speak. Tommy Lawson had neither of those advantages.

  Her chest ached for Tommy, for Mike. Tears blurred, turning the hospital waiting room into a mosaic of lights and colors. She swiped at her eyes to keep tears from spilling down her cheeks.

  Suddenly she didn’t want to know what had happened to Tommy. It would be too painful, too close. She had only to look at the pinch of Mike’s face to know. She had only to see the self-blame in his eyes.

  “When the movie was over, Lisa and I walked over to the arcade.”

  Cassie sucked in a breath. As much as she didn’t want to hear what came next, she knew Mike needed to tell her. Reaching out, she took his hand in hers, to give him comfort and to hold on for her own sake. “What happened?”

  “I don’t know. He was gone. No one admitted to seeing him. It was like he’d vanished.”

  “Did you call the police?”

  “They tore the city apart. My dad was a cop, remember. Even then he was on his way up the ladder. A sergeant. The police did everything they could.”

  “They didn’t find anything at all?”

  “There were leads for a while. Things that got our hopes up. But none of them panned out. To this day, I don’t know what happened to my little brother. But I do know whatever it was, it was my fault.”

  “Oh, Mike.” She slipped her arm around him, pulling him close.

  He stared straight ahead. Wooden. As if by accepting her hug, her feelings for him, he’d be betraying his brother. As if by taking even a moment’s break from punishing himself, he would be letting Tommy down all over again.

  “My father never forgave me. Not that he should. He’s right. If I had taken care of Tommy, if I had done the right thing then, Tommy would still be here. Hell, my mom might be here, too.”

  “Your mom?”

  “She died about five years after Tommy disappeared. Car accident.”

  “You can’t blame yourself for that.”

  “I don’t know. She didn’t deal with the stress well. She was on medication. They said she fell asleep at the wheel.”

  There was more to that, too. More he wasn’t saying. More that she could guess. “You think she died on purpose.” She couldn’t bring herself to say suicide. The whole thought was gut-wrenching. And to think that all these years Mike had lived not knowing about his brother, blaming himself, to have his mother commit suicide on top of it was just too much.

  He shrugged a shoulder. “The insurance company tried to prove it was suicide, but they never could. Still, I don’t know…”

  Cassie shook her head. She needed to get through to him. She needed to help him. “You can’t blame yourself for all of that.”

  He looked her straight in the eye. “Why not? Cassie, it was my fault.”

  “You were only seventeen.”

  “I knew better. I knew leaving Tommy alone was wrong. I just didn’t care.”

  “You never thought anything bad would happen.”

  “No. But I should have done the right thing. My dad was right.”

  “Your dad was wrong to be so hard on you.”

  “And how was he supposed to be? He lost his son because of what I did. He probably lost his wife, too.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  He shook his head. “I know enough.”

  She remembered what he’d said in the kitchen, before the bullets started flying. “That’s why you insist on doing the right thing, isn’t it? You’re trying to make up for what happened?”

  He shook his head. “I’m trying to prevent anything else from happening.”

  She wished it was possible to prevent tragedy and loss. But she had firsthand experience with that, too. “Sometimes you can’t keep bad things from happening. No matter what you do. No matter how honest or responsible or deserving you are, they happen anyway.”

  He looked at her as if he’d just really noticed she was there. Really noticed who she was. “You lost your hearing, even though you didn’t do anything to deserve it.”

  “Exactly. It just happened.”

  “And you’re still angry.”

  “No. I was at first, but not anymore.”

  He looked back at the floor, as if he didn’t quite buy her pronouncement but didn’t want to call her on it.

  “I just don’t want to be treated differently because of it. I want to be like everyone else.”

  “But you’re not like everyone else. You’re extraor dinary. You’re the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever known.”

  His words warmed her chest and wound around her heart. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to soak in his words and make them part of her. For so long, she’d battled insecurity. For so long she felt she had to struggle to be more, better, smarter. All to make up for what she’d lost. But it wasn’t until right now, looking into Mike’s eyes, that she felt she might have arrived. That she might not have to make up for anything anymore. “Thank you for that, Mike. It means a lot to me.”

  He twined his fingers with hers.

  MIKE SAT for a long while, staring into Cassie’s eyes, feeling her
soft fingers between his, breathing in her scent. He didn’t deserve her. He knew it, and he couldn’t lie to himself. But neither could he release her hands. He needed her. To understand. To get him through this. To help him summon the strength he needed to face whatever he needed to face.

  “Lawson, I just heard. Is he going to be okay?”

  Mike tore his attention from Cassie to see Tim Grady standing in the doorway of the waiting room. “Grady.”

  Cassie pulled her hands from his and folded them in her lap.

  “Sorry I interrupted.” Grady stepped into the room. “Is he out of surgery yet?”

  “No. I haven’t heard anything.” As sorry as Mike was that Grady had ended his moment with Cassie, he needed to talk to his former partner. He needed whatever help Grady could give him if he was going to get the bastard who had shot his dad. “Were you able to do those favors for me?”

  “Sure was.” Grady glanced at Cassie, as if reluctant to speak in front of her.

  “It’s okay. Cassie knows everything that’s going on.”

  “All right.” He flashed her a smile and lowered himself to the chair flanking the couch. “First off, Lois wants to go to The Palm.”

  Mike found a chuckle somewhere inside him regardless of all that had happened tonight. The Palm was one of the more expensive places in Denver, and he’d bet it was Grady who’d come up with the suggestion, not Lois. He knew Grady was still having trouble paying for all the medical expenses his wife’s health insurance refused to cover. Grady probably hadn’t been to a place like The Palm in a long while. “I guess it’s the least I can do after cheating you out of your trip to the mountains.”

  “Damn straight. I haven’t been able to use that cabin all year.”

  Mike nodded. He might not have many people willing to watch his back, but at least he had Grady and Cassie. “I hope Lois found something worth our sacrifice.”

  “Well, no.”

  “Nothing?”

  “If you don’t count Cassie’s fingerprints in her own apartment, Lois found nothing readable.”

  Damn. So whoever had ransacked Cassie’s apartment had been wearing gloves. That was one lead that turned out to be a dead end. Oh, well, it still would be worth paying for dinner at The Palm if the date with Lois helped Grady move on with his life. “Did you get the list of officers on the evening shift?”

  “That, I can give you.” He dug into his pocket, pulled out a square of paper and handed it to Mike. “I can’t get a hold of the incident report yet, if one even exists. Not without drawing attention I’d rather not draw. I’ll get it for you as soon as I can.”

  “Thanks, partner. This helps a lot.” Mike unfolded the paper and deciphered Grady’s sloppy hand. Davis, Marshall, Tutlen, Alvarez, Jacobs, Bruce. He stared at the list of officers who had been assigned to the downtown area last night. At least one of these officers had chosen to leave Cassie and him high and dry and facing a gunman. One of these officers was working for whoever wanted that disk. All he needed to do was find out which one.

  Grady looked past him and focused on the waiting room’s entrance. “News.”

  Mike pivoted on the couch, following his gaze.

  A large man wearing blue scrubs walked toward them. Sweat glistened on his face, making his skin shine like black marble. “Michael Lawson?”

  “Yes.” He shot to his feet. “How’s my father?”

  “He’s out of surgery and doing well.”

  “He’s going to make it?”

  “He’s going to make it just fine.”

  A weight Mike hadn’t fully recognized he’d been carrying lifted from his shoulders. His dad was going to be all right. They had more time. Time to talk. Time to work out their differences. Maybe even time to heal and move on.

  Cassie stood beside him and reached for his hand.

  He smiled down at her, then returned his focus to the doctor. “Can I see him?”

  The doctor glanced at Detective Grady, then back to Mike. “I’m sorry. The police have insisted he speak with them first. I’m not sure when they’ll clear you to visit. You’ll have to discuss it with them.”

  The police. Of course. There had been a shooting. They would want to speak to the victim. “I understand. Is it the county sheriff?”

  “Yes. And the Denver PD.”

  No wonder the doctor had glanced at Grady. Mike turned to his partner. “What’s up, Tim? What aren’t you telling me?”

  Grady pressed his lips into a line. “It’s not my idea, Mikey. I want you to know that. I’m arguing against the whole thing and I’ll keep it up until the lieutenant comes to his senses.”

  Cold, hard tension balled in the pit of his stomach. “Why is the Denver PD in on this?”

  “I’m sorry, man. But you’re regarded as a suspect in your dad’s shooting, too. We can’t let you see him until we can clear you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  By the time Cassie called Evangeline and her boss sent PPS agent John Pinto to watch over Mike’s dad, Cassie felt so rattled all she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and forget the past week had ever happened.

  No, that wasn’t true. She might want to forget all the crime and worry and danger, but she wanted to hold on to her time with Mike.

  She watched him talk to John. The Native American agent was famous in the office for the meticulous way he planned every detail for each security job he worked. Cassie hoped his talent for thinking through all danger would put Mike at ease about his father’s safety. She couldn’t imagine anything more wrenching than the hell Mike had been through, and to be a suspect in the shooting, besides, seemed utterly cruel.

  John paused, reaching the end of his litany of pre cautions and plans. “I’ll take care of your father, Detective Lawson. Rest assured.”

  Mike let out a long sigh. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

  John nodded and turned to Cassie. “Evangeline wants to see the two of you at the office. A lot has happened since you left last night—and not just to the two of you.”

  Cassie almost groaned. They’d gone through the whole night without sleeping. She was still wearing her ugly gray sweats. Her joints ached and a headache had started behind her eyes. Not that she could sleep if she did get the opportunity. The way her mind was whirring, she probably couldn’t sleep for the next week.

  It didn’t take long for her and Mike to reach the office. And from the moment they peered into the retina scanner and buzzed their way inside, Cassie could feel the energy bouncing off the office walls.

  Evangeline spotted them through the glass walls of her office as soon as they made it past the spot where Angel was pouting behind the reception desk. Evangeline waved her hand. “Cassie, Mike, in the conference room. We were waiting for you to arrive. Angel, you, too, honey.”

  They filed into the conference room and took seats at the wide table. Jack Sanders, Sara Montgomery and Lenny were already there. Angel stood at the back of the room.

  Evangeline walked in behind them and took her spot at the head of the table. She paused for a moment, looking at each agent in the room in turn. “Mr. Durgin is gone.”

  Cassie narrowed her eyes on her boss. She couldn’t have read that right, could she? “Durgin’s gone?”

  “That’s right.”

  Jack leaned back in his chair, as cool and in control as ever. “He decided he didn’t want to stick around and enjoy our hospitality?”

  Evangeline tilted her head to the side. “Apparently not. And he took the original of the disk with him.”

  Sara looked worried. Mike touched Cassie’s arm.

  Cassie shook her head. “It wasn’t the only copy. I made several copies of the data.”

  Mike nodded and turned his attention back to Evangeline.

  “Cassie’s right. We lost nothing.”

  “Except our witness,” Mike said. “How did he get out? It’s not like you can just waltz out of this place unnoticed.”

  “It was my fault,” Angel said, her eyes
pooling with tears. “I let him out. He said he wanted to get some doughnuts.”

  All eyes in the room focused on the receptionist.

  “He said he’d bring some back,” she said, as if that made all the difference in the world.

  Cassie felt terrible for the girl. Angel was a lousy receptionist, a disaster when it came to office equipment and a challenge to deal with even on her best days, but no one could doubt that her heart was in the right place. Cassie wished she could soothe the girl. Or at least scrape off some of the black makeup that was starting to run down her face.

  As if reading Cassie’s thoughts, Angel wiped her eyes with the side of her hand, smearing black back to her hairline.

  Evangeline gave her a gentle smile. “I told you not to worry about it, Angel. I meant it. It’s okay.”

  Angel nodded and stared at the floor, chomping her gum with even more of a vengeance than usual.

  “How did he find the disk in the first place?” Mike asked. “Don’t you have special security for such things?”

  Evangeline nodded. “It would normally be locked away. But last night, I left the disk out on Cassie’s desk.”

  Mike raised his brows. “You did? Why?”

  “I wanted to see what Durgin would do.”

  “So you didn’t trust him, either.” Cassie smiled. She should have known Evangeline wasn’t being as gullible as she seemed in letting Durgin stay at the PPS office last night.

  Beside Cassie, Mike grinned, as well. “So now that we know Mr. Durgin is a liar and a thief, what happens now?”

  “I asked Lenny to put one of his compact GPS devices into the disk’s case.”

  Mike’s smile widened. “So you’re tracking Durgin.”

  Lenny nodded awkwardly. “That’s right.” He looked back down at the laptop computer he had on the table in front of him and adjusted the headset covering one ear.

  Evangeline continued. “If he tried to take the disk—and I wasn’t sure that he would—I wanted to find out what he’d do with it. Durgin has a two-hour head start, but Ethan is tracking him as we speak. Lenny is in contact.”

  Cassie nodded. Although a bit of a loner, Ethan Moore was one of the most experienced agents at PPS. Tracking down Durgin should be easy for him.